The following list, swiped at Sadistic Desire, provides humorous insight into what other people think we believe:
- Voodoo - "Let me borrow that doll for a second..."
- Confucianism - "Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry"
- Capitalism - "He who dies with the most toys, wins"
- Hari Krishna - "He who plays with the most toys, wins"
- Judaism - "He who buys the most toys at the lowest price, wins"
- Catholicism - "He who denies himself the most toys, wins"
- Anglican - "They were our toys first"
- Greek Orthodox - "No, they were OURS first"
- Branch Davidians - "He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins"
- Mormonism - "Every boy may have as many toys as he wants"
- 7th Day Adventists - "He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses"
- Amish - "Toys with batteries are surely a sin"
- Church of Christ - "He whose toys make music, loses"
- Baptist - "Once played, always played"
- Church of Christ, Scientist - "We are the toys"
- Jehovah's Witnesses - "He who 'places' the most toys door-to-door, wins"
- Non-Denominationalism - "Does it really matter where the toys came from?"
- Communism - "Everyone gets the same number of toys"
- Hedonism - "Hang the rule book! Let's play!"
- Atheism - "There is no toy maker"
- Polytheism - "There are many toy makers"
- Evolutionism - "The toys made themselves"